Fantasies

Before I had my daughter I started to work on my jewelry full time. I was actually starting to make money mostly from doing custom bike badges. I did enjoy doing some of them but found that doing custom work gave me terrible anxiety. I found it hard to say no and got terribly overwhelmed. Once I got pregnant it became hard for me to continue doing my work. With pregnancy hormones it made my anxiety worse. And the extremely hot summer didn't help. I was also a wreck because my husband was gone the majority of my pregnancy. So most of the momentum has been lost with the art business.

Now that my daughter is about ready to walk (and she's needing the breast less) I am having these fantasies again of being a full time jeweler and traveling. And my husband keeps mentioning being a stay at home dad. We also have ideas for owning property, not sure we could pull that off with a jewelry business that needs a lot of work. Although I love my daughter more than anything I also love my creative time. And without having a sitter, it's been almost impossible to do any work. We've signed a lease for a year in our current location  so we still have time to get our ducks in a row. Currently paying off bills and purchasing long overdue items like a new mattress, next will probably be a laptop. And there is the question of health insurance. That is a costly thing in this country and we currently have decent insurance through my husband's job. Can't we just have universal healthcare already?

There is still a lot of work to be done in the bus too. Yes, it's livable but there are quite a few things yet to be done. Not much different than your standard home. There's also the question of another child. I'm 37 so it's not like I have a whole lot of time to decide if I want another one. We would also have to do some serious work to make room for another kid. I'm not sure if I can handle two kids in this bus. But if dad is taking care of them while I work than it might work. And I do miss having a house sometimes. Especially because my daughter really needs the space to move around. We've been hanging out at the library a lot lately. At least she gets to be around other kids this way.  And I've made a few friends.

I also have the fantasy of having a storefront to sell my art and jewelry. And to stock it with other amazing artists. Our current plan is to pay off all our bills and buy property while Evan has his steady job. Maybe after we purchase property we can see where life takes us? We both have creative dreams and ideas about how we want to live our life together. Is it possible to be able to pick more than one? Can we have the best of both worlds?