Fantasies

Before I had my daughter I started to work on my jewelry full time. I was actually starting to make money mostly from doing custom bike badges. I did enjoy doing some of them but found that doing custom work gave me terrible anxiety. I found it hard to say no and got terribly overwhelmed. Once I got pregnant it became hard for me to continue doing my work. With pregnancy hormones it made my anxiety worse. And the extremely hot summer didn't help. I was also a wreck because my husband was gone the majority of my pregnancy. So most of the momentum has been lost with the art business.

Now that my daughter is about ready to walk (and she's needing the breast less) I am having these fantasies again of being a full time jeweler and traveling. And my husband keeps mentioning being a stay at home dad. We also have ideas for owning property, not sure we could pull that off with a jewelry business that needs a lot of work. Although I love my daughter more than anything I also love my creative time. And without having a sitter, it's been almost impossible to do any work. We've signed a lease for a year in our current location  so we still have time to get our ducks in a row. Currently paying off bills and purchasing long overdue items like a new mattress, next will probably be a laptop. And there is the question of health insurance. That is a costly thing in this country and we currently have decent insurance through my husband's job. Can't we just have universal healthcare already?

There is still a lot of work to be done in the bus too. Yes, it's livable but there are quite a few things yet to be done. Not much different than your standard home. There's also the question of another child. I'm 37 so it's not like I have a whole lot of time to decide if I want another one. We would also have to do some serious work to make room for another kid. I'm not sure if I can handle two kids in this bus. But if dad is taking care of them while I work than it might work. And I do miss having a house sometimes. Especially because my daughter really needs the space to move around. We've been hanging out at the library a lot lately. At least she gets to be around other kids this way.  And I've made a few friends.

I also have the fantasy of having a storefront to sell my art and jewelry. And to stock it with other amazing artists. Our current plan is to pay off all our bills and buy property while Evan has his steady job. Maybe after we purchase property we can see where life takes us? We both have creative dreams and ideas about how we want to live our life together. Is it possible to be able to pick more than one? Can we have the best of both worlds?

Patience

Patience is the name of our bus which is quite fitting for the current state of our lives. Patience has been around a few years, since 1972. She has driven over 300,000 miles and hauled a lot of children before we took her over. Patience isn't a fast mover, she needs to be warmed up before she starts her day. And sometimes needs the kinks worked out before she hits the road. Sure the ride is loud and bumpy but she usually puts a smile on peoples faces as we pass by. And you can count on road trips taking twice as long to get to your destination. It's not that noticeable though, because the scenery is more enjoyable. Sometimes she is stinky, whether it be the cloud of smoke coming from the exhaust or the occasional poo smell from the toilet. All worth it so the husband doesn't have to pull over a million times to accommodate my bladder. The inside is small, yet cozy. Really easy to get messy but can get clean up in a jiffy. Patience is something you definitely have to get used to. She was a little overwhelming at first, but we've grown to love her even with her faults. Nobody is perfect, not even a bus.

Our daughter is much like the bus, she requires a lot of patience. If I'm in a hurry, guaranteed it will be a bad day. I need to remind myself daily to take it slow. My anxiety comes out if I try to control what is going to happen with the day. Recently, I've discovered I'm more OCD than I realized. I knew I had it, but until Finely got to be the age of a toddler I didn't realize how bad it was. You wouldn't think that I am OCD if you saw what my jewelers bench looked like after hours of creating, but I can only handle a mess for so long. Especially in a small space, it forces you to be organized. So I spend the majority of my days cleaning. When it comes to babies and toddlers, they are messy when they eat. You have no idea how much this bothers me! Yet I am a complete slob when I am cooking or baking, and even when I'm eating. But I clean the mess when I'm done. Nothing gets my anxiety going as much as when we are in the car and Finley is screaming or whining. I try to plan car rides when I know it's nap time. Usually, I forget all about the stressful car ride when we get to our destination. She's so excited to be at the store and puts a smile on other shoppers faces. Just makes my day. Even though she has the typical qualities of a toddler, she is a very happy girl and I am so thankful for that.

A sample of what it looks like when I'm trying to fix dinner, or accomplish anything really.

 

Catching up

Hey everyone, here I am again over 2 years later attempting to be a blogger. This time I am going to make it stick. Since my last post we have driven back across the US in our bus to Washington state to get married, drove down to California to see family, had a baby, drove back to California again, and now we are planted on the west side of the Cascade mountains in Washington. I think I will start my posts from where I left off in Pennsylvania. I took a lot of photos while we were there and met some wonderful people. I feel I need to share these memories with you before I delve into our current life. So I am going to rewind to the end of 2015 when my husband flew to Washington to scoop me up and drive across the country in my Subaru with U-haul and my cat and bird. The bus (her name is Patience) had been in Pennsylvania since the beginning of 2015. Evan drove her there in the very cold winter by himself so he could start his job. It didn't have much done in it, but at least the wood stove and bed were finished before he took off. I ended up having a family emergency situation so we were apart for about 10 months. That was a hard time for both of us, only saw him once in that time. And it's when I needed him the most. But we survived and it only made us stronger as a couple.

The trip from Washington to Pennsylvania was a pretty quick trip. We just wanted to get there, especially since we were carrying precious cargo; my cat Pumpkin (who is 13 now) and my cockatiel Sunny (may he rest in peace). We made it across in 4 nights. 

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